My synopsis:

The beautiful people are all at the
beach wearing skimpy outfits,
wondering why the sky is blue
and why they're all so stupid.

Then...

Five million sharks attack at once,
in unison, TOGETHER, as a team
(like the A-Team, except they're
sharks, and not the Jabberjaw or
Kenny the Shark kind of sharks,
(or even old SNL "Landshark" kind
of shark) but mean, ferocious,
UN-housebroken, trained by ninjas,
post-traumatic stress-disordered,
MONK-ADD'd-out sharks with a
great dental plan and plenty of
attitude! (forgetting if I closed my
parenthesis or not) )

So anyway...

Blood... shrieks, panic,
everyone's too stupid to run...

This movie all adds up to one word:
"WINNER".

Tape it for your grandchildren.
Great your nominations in for Viewer's
Choice Awards. This is the stuff that
classics are made of.

Sunday, March 20
9-11pm
CBS

Oh...

SPRING ARTS at the STATION
this Saturday, March 19
Noon to 5pm
FREE
go to the SPRING ARTS website