The idea of music - basically getting weepy over things vibrating - is strange enough to me. Electricity - pickups, amps, effects - just takes it to another level of oddity. I live for it, but it still baffles me.

Furthermore, is the inexplicable appeal of Flying V's, Thunderbirds, and...what was that Ibanez Paul Stanley thing? A Destroyer?

Whatever happened to "form follows function"?

How about star-shaped amplifiers and jackets made out of glass, with rigid, pointy things all over the place?

Those guitars, to me, are the musical equivalent of Steve Martin's "Cruel Shoes."

I don't overlook the art of guitar building and cabinet making, or even great electronics. I hate superfluous stuff, like crazy guitar limbs and stuff.

I can sum up all the waste with two references: Kiss and the guitar player for Cheap Trick.