Now people stop me often, and ask if I'm Merv Griffin.
But I don't even know him. I've never seen his show.
Now everybody loves him. What would they do without him?
They ask me all about him, [Hey, what about Merv Griffin?] and I don't even know.

His name is not Merv Griffin, his name is not Merv Griffin,
his name is not Merv Griffin, his real name is George.

They think that they all know me. They tell me I'm their buddy.
They want to touch my body. They want to go to bed.
They give me pens and pencils. They give me candy apples.
They want to see my nipples. I wish that they were dead.

His name is not Merv Griffin, his name is not Merv Griffin,
his name is not Merv Griffin, his real name is George.

I can't go to the bathroom without somebody peekin',
And someone's always sneakin', and things are getting worse!
People steal my undies, my jockstraps and my panties!
My doctor takes my urine, and sells it to his nurse!

His name is not Merv Griffin, his name is not Merv Griffin,
his name is not Merv Griffin, his real name is George.

My name is not Merv Griffin! My name is not Merv Griffin!
My name is not Merv Griffin! My real name is George!

His name is not Merv Griffin, his name is not Merv Griffin,
his name is not Merv Griffin, his real name is George.

His re-, -al, name, is, Geo-o-o-o-o-o-orge!

My Name Is Not Merv Griffin

By: Gary Muller

Year: 1982