Beard growing contest

Louie's picture
gaberollins's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

I think most of us need to wait until after September to start this.

deseeded's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

I need to hit puberty first.


Passion is inversely proportional to the amount of real information available.

JoeTaco's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

I want to grow a Magnum PI mustache.

delnieve's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

I started growing a beard 2 days ago. The time feels right.

JoeTaco's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

Rain brings out the beard in all of us.

trouser's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

why bother? riciutti will just crush everyone.

he's like a caveman.

i think this is his family's first generation walking upright.

Angesto's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

Who's riciutti?

duncan's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

Scott Ricciuti from HUCK

man grows a nice beard.

Ronaldo's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

I'm in, sure.


I'm out getting my abs airbrushed on...leave a message

preachahroe's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

duncan wrote:
Scott Ricciuti from HUCK

man grows a nice beard.

that's dennis wilson, sillypants


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Yetitibbs's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

I'll lose, but I will be in for this.


duncan's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

what are the rules. do we submit a before picture?

Ronaldo's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

Yeah, I was wondering that too...do we get together on a certain day, and shave in unison, then yell "go!" or something? Will there be press for this? What is the prize? Funny Louie, I thought you were anti-beard lately, what with wanting the old-timey straight razor et al....

Jim's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

Does anyone remember the "Cheers" episode when they had a beard-growing contest? One of the methods they used to judge at the end was by pouring a beer on the bar counter, and then rubbing their beards into it to see whose beard absorbed the most liquid. That seems like a sensible test to me.


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duncan's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

I'll sponsor some sort of prize, or we could do a buy in to the contest. Winner take all.

as for rules. maybe a photo holding the days newspaper :)

is judging on length only? fullness? shape?

JohnD's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

Yetitibbs wrote:
I'll lose, but I will be in for this.

I'd bet a million dollars you'll beat me.


It's a boy Mrs. Walker, it's a boy...

trouser's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

never before has the expression "this could get ugly" been so appropriate.

Louie's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

Duncan and I are working on the rules and regulations right now but we agree there will be a $5.00 entry fee.

JoeTaco's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

Are women allowed to enter?

duncan's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

JoeTaco wrote:
Are women allowed to enter?

hahah! yes! it will add to the prize money.

Yetitibbs's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

JoeTaco wrote:
Are women allowed to enter?

You are the best :)

tina z's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

Looks like I'm in for a scruffy few months . . . Crap.


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pete's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

All right. I'm in. I just hope every time I sit down, kids don't crawl on my lap and tell me what they want for Christmas.

MelleYeah's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

Yeah, really, have you guys even thought about what your wives/girlfriends have to say about this?? Im vehemently anti-beard.


trouser's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

i don't have much of a beard, but i do have pretty long hair.

think the judges will allow comb-unders?

Erinnn's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

after it ends can you guys begin a second contest on who can sculpt the best facial hair out of their beards...where's Joe Giotta?

4rilla's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

I see some of the ladies speaking up about hating beards... I know Crystal would be pissed off at me if I participated, but I could still be up for it, depending on the duration of said contest....

Louie's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

We are currently thinking 5 months, but that could change.

We are discussing everything right now and the start could be a couple of weeks off yet.

pete's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

5 months!? I don't want to be steppin' on it an shit.

Ronaldo's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

Well I still must ask if there is a clean-shaven start or what? It's really the only way...except I can't shave off my chinny chin chin, or I'll be lookin like a Jabba-face...

tina z's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

I really have no problem with Louie growing a beard, it is just the transition period between the rough start, to when it get soft. Get thee to growing!

Louie's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

As I have said before, we are just planning this thing right now and should have more details for people shortly. Stay tuned.

And, yes, clean shaven. No goatees, soul patches, muttonchops, hitler-'staches, or grampa gills. We are trying to put some fun into this contest but we must start on an even playing field.

gaberollins's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

This is funny as hell. As someone who rocks the beard on a regular basis of course I am in.

Amazing Dick's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

Sign me up !

Ronaldo's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

Holy crap this will get ugly....I guess I am just scared of the non-chinny thing, but I will be strong.

I WILL get laughed at at work for a spell...and the Missus WILL look at me all unkind-like, but it grows back...

Ah hell, still in.

Jim's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

I grow the thickest, most luxurious, and fullest beard you will ever see, and it only takes about two days (I do get some gray hairs in there, which might detract from its beauty).

However, my wife hates it. And when she hates something, she knows how to make me comply. So since I'm not willing to go without sex for five months, I will simply observe this contest and know that, should I have entered, I would have won.

gaberollins's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

Jim wrote:
I grow the thickest, most luxurious, and fullest beard you will ever see, and it only takes about two days (I do get some gray hairs in there, which might detract from its beauty).

However, my wife hates it. And when she hates something, she knows how to make me comply. So since I'm not willing to go without sex for five months, I will simply observe this contest and know that, should I have entered, I would have won.

Talk is cheap Jim, talk is cheap.

Scott's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

Me grow beard too.

Fanny's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

Please, PLEASE can I be a judge? I'll even judge in between stages if anyone is interested in several categories.

I am a lover of facial hair. All stages. I think men should have to be scruffy and they also should allow me to rub their faces.

Ok so my friends already do that. Thanks fellas. :)


Hi! :-)

Angesto's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

If there is a prize involved I think most ladies will be ok with that. :)

Ronaldo's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

Beard rubbing? Holy damn, there's an incentive. Hahahaha! Yay!

Louie's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

This is shaping up nicely. Duncan and I are working on the details and I think we are down to just 4 months as we don't want to get all Maharishi.

We will have judging on certain criteria, a prize, and other stuff.

Details will follow when we get all the details worked out. Stay tuned.

punky's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

A creepy moustache contest would be better. But Im sure kyle will be in for this.

abnormalbrain's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

Gentlemen. Let's keep our pimp-hands strong.

abnormalbrain's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

Also, can we add an artistic division?

szoback's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

Depending on the start date, I'm in...I've never done longer than a month, and that was scary looking enough that the TSA was starting to stop me at checkpoints.

Yetitibbs's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

If this begins post my wedding, I am in. If not, I am out.

Louie's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

Well, it's certainly starting before.

JoeBro's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

this is a normal ritual for me. I'd be in if it started 9/1 (labor day) and ended thanksgiving eve. (I usually have the same contest at work, and win).'

one rule: you can shave your neck and the upper cheak bone area.

duncan's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

we will post the criteria soon. It's not just length we will be considering. Impressiveness, style, thickness and many more words will be considered. So shaving the neck would be totally acceptable as long as you still have a beard.

Ronaldo's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

Ooooh, if we're talking interesting facial topiary, I'ma gonna freakin win. End of.

duncan's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

you will see the guidelines when we finish them. Shaving thumbs up on your cheek wont win this one Ron, sorry.

JoeBro's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

ehh, I be not intrusted in no line ups yo. i'm mofukn mad G e-nuf.

gaberollins's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

Yetitibbs wrote:
If this begins post my wedding, I am in. If not, I am out.

This is what I was saying, this contest does not really coincide with the mustache bachelor party either.

Louie's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

Well then I guess you and Michael miss out on the fun.

Stacy's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

As a woman usually only attracted to a man with facial hair I would be interested in helping judge! :) I think the prize should be something lavish like a metro sexual spa day...you can walk in like a cave man and leave GQ...before and after pics...how funny!

szoback's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

I'm inspired: World Beard and Moustache Championships

My favorite:

pete's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

That site is fanfuckintastic! Who knew the Germans were so dominant?

szoback's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

One last thing---the theme song is clearly "Beard Lust" by Natalie Portman's Shaved Head, conveniently appearing in Boston tonight and tomorrow.

Ronaldo's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

completely awesome, but I decided not to wait and about a month deep on the facial topiary.

deseeded's picture

Re: Beard growing contest

The Beard Song: